My Little Anz Pony's Journal

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Saturday, February 7, 2004

Saturday, January 24, 2004

3:09PM - I must puke seafood on your carpet

Mmmm.... yes

My leggies stopped being so sore yesterday... But that didn't improve my day.

Yesterday, the parental unites wished to go out and eat at Butler's Mill because it was Seafood Night. Well, mommy said I could take Joey with me. And when the time rolled around for us to go, she didn't want to go pick him up. She ALWAYS does that, she says something will happen and POOF! IT DOESN'T! OMFG MAGIC!

Well, on the way, I curled up in the back, trying not to cry. I was just too pissed. I counted how many times she's done that to me. I had on of my MLP's with me. I cried on it until it's mane and tail were soaked. Then, I realized why I love toys so much: I can't hurt them, they can't hurt me. They'll always be there, and I never have to worry about them leaving.

We got there, it was freezing, and of course we ended up sitting beside an open fucking window. I didn't even eat, the last time I ate there I threw it all up. The most I did was grab a crawfish and play disection. I didn't even say a word, and mom was pissed at me. I just thought, well, would you rather me talk and fuck up your life even more than I already have?

Then, she said the DUMBEST thing: "Well if you would enjoy going places more maybe I wouldn't be so uptight about picking up your little friends!" And it was like, "What the shit does THAT MEAN!?" It made no fucking sense! It's like, how the Hell can I enjoy something I HATE with a STRONG PASSION? I hate family activites, something always happens. Me or mom are always pissed about something, or dad says something stupid that fucks everything up, or my little brother breaks something... Or does something embarrasing.

And here's something I'd bet my life on...
Last night, mom said "Joey can come over tomorrow."
And it's like "HAHA! OH GOD! HAHAHAHAHAAAAA---no." Something ALWAYS comes up to where he CAN'T! For God sakes, is asking to see him such a big fucking deal? Damn he probably hates me because my parents are such fuck heads...

I just hate myself and the people around me so much right now.

I didn't even buckle up last night in the car. I was hoping we'd wreck and I'd die. Too bad my luck doesn't work like that.

Jesus Christ I've never cried so much in 24 hours.

Current mood: depressed

Current music: Marcey's Playground - Sex and Candy

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Thursday, January 22, 2004

12:40PM - A Fire Inside

I'll lay me down tonight
Much further down
Swim in the calm tonight
This art does drown

(What follows) me as the whitest lace of light
(Will swallow whole) just begs to be imbrued?
What follows has lead me to this place
where I belong, with all erased

All insects sing tonight
The coldest sound
I'd send God's grace tonight
Could it be found?

(What follows) me as the whitest lace of light
(Will swallow whole) just begs to be imbrued?
What follows has lead me to this place
where I belong, with all erased

I'll lay me down tonight
Much further down
Watch stars go out tonight
On sinking ground

I'll lay me down, I'll lay me down

(What follows) me as the whitest lace of light
(Will swallow whole) just begs to be imbrued?
What follows has lead me to this place
where I belong, with all erased

What follows will swallow whole
What follows will swallow whole




............./??/)
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..../??/'...'/???.`??
./'/.../..../.....:^.??\
('(...?...?....?_/'...'/
\.................'...../
.'\'...\.........._.??
...\..............(
....\..............\

Current mood: weird

Current music: Anything AFI

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12:30PM - My retarted leggies

Well, to make a long story seem long but its actually short...

The other night at Tae Kwon Do we were sparring, and I was paired up with this girl who was a black belt in Karate and joined Tae Kwon Do as a Green belt, well, now she's a purple belt, and I'm a yellow with an orange stripe. I HATE Tae Kwon Do with a passion, but I'm forced to take it. Well, my partner doesn't understand that 'sparring' means 'light contact' or 'no contact'. Well, she went all Kung Fu Fighter on my ass and was pulling out all these Tae Kwon Do AND Karate moves. Well, the next morning (yesterday to be exact) I woke up all brused n' stuff... When I rolled out of bed and stood up, I fell down. My legs hurt so fucking bad... For God sakes, it was worse than when I'm on my period!

Well, I when to school, couldn't walk, sit, or stand worth a fuck. I fell down several times, and it was so nice how everyone laughed at me instead of helping me up. It seriously hurts like Hell, I can't explain it any better than that. If fucking KILLS me to walk up or down fucking stairs! Anyway, I'm not at school today, because I woke up this morning, fell and I couldn't get back up. It's worse today than it was yesterday! Everytime I fall I can't get up on my own! Me and my fucked up legs. Fucking vietnamese piece of shit. If she's my sparring partner again I SWEAR I'll leave a bruise on her body the size of Canada...

...my legs are purple... that scares me...

Current mood: enraged

Current music: Highway to Hell - MManson

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Saturday, January 17, 2004

10:25PM - Never In Motion

Why don't I ever get to go ANYWHERE?

And if I do get to go somewhere (or if I'm forced to), it's somewhere I'd like to set fire to.

I bought 2 more ponies today, go rejoice for me.

I'm having fun with the enter button, Mmm Hmm.

Caro is putting sexy color in her hair... Once mine is grown out it shall be invaded by colors! COLORS, DAMN YOU!

I went to Alabama today, DON'T rejoice for me. Damn rednecks, stalking me and trying to touch my rump. Baaaaad rednecks... I will set fire to them all!

Current mood: bored

Current music: Carnival - Tori Amos

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Wednesday, January 14, 2004

9:49AM - Guess who's in school right now?

...me

And I have ever second of it.

I woke up this morning and I felt like 15 Grey Hound buses ran over me in my sleep... How jolly is that? I just put in a shirt, a pair of pants and left. I have on NO jewlry, and I really need my watch because Ms. Satan doesn't keep a clock in her room because she wants us to SUFFER! I feel so naked... I need my millions of bracelets...

I think I'm getting another art block. Whoo.

On Monday, the band has to march in the parade for ol' whatshisface. And I really, really hope it rains... Not to be putting down any holidays or anyone's beliefs... I really don't get a kick out of any holiday, although I do enjoy Halloween very much... But who doesn't? My brain is disfunctioning, I must nap now.

See, Azrael? I'm starting to write in my journal. Now gimme a cookie.

Current mood: tired

Current music: None, I'm in school, stupid.

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Monday, January 12, 2004

6:05PM - Stuff

Yea, ok, Azrael wanted me to write in my journal more... So my goal is to try and write in my journal more... and maybe I can make it EXCITING!

Yea, So, I got 4 of my ponies (from ebay) in the mail today:
Highflyer (flutter pony)
Bubbles (sitting pony)
Seashell (sitting pony)
Applejack (one of the EARLY ponies)

I gave them all baths and gave them a good mane and tail conditioning, and right now I'm waiting for their hair to dry.

Azrael makes me cranky, he draws too damn well.

Caro is going to bleach the pony she got me for x-mas! Can you say 'JEBUS! ITS ALBINO!'

Magnum is a pack of crackers, let us put her in some soup!

Joey has a nice ass. Damn that coat of his, getting in the way.

Mom STILL won't let me quit Tae Kwon Do... AND I'M NOT OK WITH THAT! I feel the need to draw blood and gore... Why hasn't the damn computer man come back to fix my hard-drive?

<(-'.'-)> It's Kirby. Worship his PINKNESS.

Current mood: amused

Current music: Umm... Does listening to Dane Cook count?

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Monday, November 17, 2003

10:16PM - Misc

InsaneLadyMagnum: bad man *clings to joo* i luff joo, no bad man.
Unholy Anz: I lurve joo too
Unholy Anz: ....it's sad that I only have ONE friend, ONE person I can talk to, ONE person I can trust, ONE person that cares to listen to me
InsaneLadyMagnum: Well, i will always be there for you, because you're always there for me
InsaneLadyMagnum: and you are my best friend
Unholy Anz: yay
Unholy Anz: ....dammit I have to get buses changed
InsaneLadyMagnum: so...well...I dunno. I just luff joo, and i would be sad if you left me
InsaneLadyMagnum: awwww...how sad. Have you come up with anything yet?
Unholy Anz: or I'll eat my brains.... I think my brain is made of peanut butter....
Unholy Anz: Umm... I had something.... now I can't remember
InsaneLadyMagnum: peanut butter is guuud



Unholy Anz: I know lots of dead people. 95% of them are old friends
InsaneLadyMagnum: hm. yea. you do have a bad thing with that...It really sucks when a friend dies
Unholy Anz: Or kill themselves
Unholy Anz: Hurts even worse because you think you had some kind of contribution to it
InsaneLadyMagnum: i know. But it's never really your fault. They just didn't have the will on their own, and if they don't want to geel better they won't. Nobody can change that
Unholy Anz: I wish I could have...


Bits and pieces of a conversation with Magnum on AIM, for those of you who are wondering what the Hell is wrong with me.

Current mood: depressed

Current music: Man in the box - Alice in Chains

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Saturday, September 6, 2003

Sunday, July 13, 2003

2:20PM - Blee

Blee... Bad week.

All week I've been having terrible dreams of people I know killing themselves, with me RIGHT THERE. But I don't have a feeling of anything bad happening in the near future, such as someone getting hurt or someone dieing. But Bob-Jake (the voice that lives inside of my head- is telling me to keep alert. But God dammit if the little bastard won't tell me why! Bah, one dream was REALLY bad, but I'll write about it later, it's a looooong story, and I ain't shittin' when I say 'long'. Beck, anyway, I lurve Ryan, touch him and you die, dammit. I shall write my depressing disturbed story later.

Current mood: scared

Current music: Disturbed - Pray

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Thursday, July 3, 2003

11:06PM - I died. Again.

............./??/)
..........,/?..//
........./....//
..../??/'...'/???.`??
./'/.../..../.....:^.??\
('(...?...?....?_/'...'/
\.................'...../
.'\'...\.........._.??
...\..............(
....\..............\

Fuck yoo! Hee hee!

Bah, I haven't felt like explaining my problems here lately. These past few days have been so full of shit that I could write a damn book about them all! Hell, I might do that someday, could earn me a wad of money! FWEE!

Current mood: tired

Current music: Bring me to life (remix)

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Monday, June 30, 2003

9:21PM - Fuck the world.

Ok... I'm in a bad mood, and if you're from DA and were stupid enough to some here and read this, you'll understand why...

-I am owed 5 pictures from people from DA.
-I'm being attacked at random for no reason.
-One of my good friends told me to 'piss off' and I hadn't even said shit of a word to her all damn day.
-My love life is being a bitch to me (you'd have to know me IRL to understand this).
-My art block has been twice as worse as normal.
-Everyone is being a rude ass to me after I've BEAT MYSELF IN THE FUCKING FACE TO BE NICE. Even though I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO.
-Everyone keeps coming to ME when they've got a problem.

I have a million more reasons, but I won't annoy you with them right now. And if I get ONE MORE LETTER about being such a bitch, well here's the response you'll get: "I have a good reason, and trust me, you don't."

Damn, God hates me more than I thought his sorry ass did. Meh.

But I know a few of my 'friends' are gonna read this and even if this is directed towards you or not, DON'T take it personally, and if you do, DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK A WORD TO ME. Geez if it bother's you it's your problem not mine. Just don't talk to me, whatever you do.

Current mood: pissed off

Current music: I dunno, but it had a shit load of cussing in it.

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